Posts

Nigeria: My Single Story.

Image
"Doom to the land of flies and mosquitoes beyond the Ethiopian rivers, Shipping emissaries all over the world, down rivers and across seas.

Go, swift messengers,     go to this people tall and handsome, This people held in respect everywhere,     this people mighty and merciless,     from the land crisscrossed with rivers..."
Isaiah 18 (MSG)
I've been wanting to talk about this for a while. It's a really controversial issue and I'm aware of that. However, here's my side of the story...
Now, the whole talk and clamor for Biafra by the Igbos is really becoming a major issue again (with the one day sit-at-home strike observed by the ‘Biafrans’ on the 30th of May, 2017). This is still up in our faces even after the Civil War (1967-1970) which left a mighty lot of people devastated and at zero-level along with millions of casualties.
Funny enough, some of my classmates in secondary school went abroad to study and started going all ‘pro-Biafra' on me. Like they didn’t know…

Love 'em Up

Image
While walking down to the prayer spot, Ozi wondered how I could be so nonchalant about the sad news she’d just shared with me.
Although I was in enough physical pain, I felt really bad and uncomfortable but I just didn't feel like showing it was going to change the fact that our tight sister had just left ‘the fold’. But a part of me just wanted to let her be…
The prayer session that night was quite unusual. The sister who led the prayers began to tell us of God’s love and that it was a time for us to thank Him and talk to Him… like a one-on-one love kinda talk.
I felt really awful about my behavior when I heard it clearly from God to ‘Love them up’.
Yes, I know, every one of us is going through our processes in life and God has promised to be there each step of the way. But there are times when you feel like you’re stuck and you really need help like crazy.
Prayer sessions begin in your head and you’re not sure who to ask sometimes because you feel like God isn't saying anything a…

Loading...

Image
Just going through my journal and notes… reminiscing over the choices I’ve made, the many plans I had, the mistakes I made and it’s all just hilarious, maybe mind-blowing! It all makes me feel like I’m in a school for life; constantly learning things, dropping off and picking up new habits and stuff.

Sometimes I can’t even believe or imagine some of things I’ve done. I’ll be like “Was that me?! Naaah!” I just can’t reconcile the two pictures of me back then and of me right now...
 In this season, I’ve been going through teachings and experiences on ‘Processes’ … the journey from who we are to who God wants us to be (like Christ) as unique individuals.
We all know that certain processes are necessary to transform raw materials into the finished products as intended by the manufacturer. Oh well, the same applies to us, humans. 
God, our manufacturer, wants to take us through certain processes so that He can take us from who we are to His intended plan … fully formed in Christ (Galatians …

We Can Be Weird Like That...

Image
"When you lose sight of who you are, you begin to copy someone else."
I do get comments such as 'Funmi, you're too big' or 'Funmi, you smile a lot' or 'You this girl, what's your problem sef? You need to have more sense' (Yeah, it got that bad)...
I love making people happy even if it means goofing around a bit and I do love to feel acknowledged. While growing up, getting such comments would just make me weak! It could hit me so badly that I'd just creep back into my shell. I'd feel bad, dejected or not good enough...
So very much I wanted to become like anyone else (if not everyone else) that I began to hate myself. Low self-esteem kicked in really hard. I  remember once, for about a month, I wouldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I didn't like myself.
Now, however, I've begun to love myself because I found out that God made me to be the best I can be and He loves me just as I am. He doesn't need anything more …

“He’s A Principled Moralist” She Said

Image
“That lecturer (name withheld) can be strict but his own is too much abeg.” I said.
“Are you sure he’s even a Christian, though I think he goes to church ooh.” Amy asked.
“I don’t feel he is because of the way he talks sometimes about Christians like he’s mocking us… He’s just a principled moralist!” Ada answered in a serious tone (although she can be unserious and joke around for Africa).
We laughed about it but I began to wonder, was he really a Christian or, as Ada had said, a principled moralist…
Oh well, I have him as a lecturer; teaches very well and never misses a class (except in rare cases… just once actually). He’s very strict with the school policy of 75% minimum attendance to classes to qualify for his exams and doesn’t really listen to any excuses.
 If you like, be getting married or be in the hospital on his exam day or use that as an excuse for not meeting up with the attendance… my brother, my sister, you’re on a very long thing oh!
Many times however, people view Christiani…

Christian-ish

Image
(Romans 8:31-39)
I mean, its Sunday service and everyone is worshiping God, singing and praying in tears and joy… and it seems like I’m the only one who can’t connect!
I and only I know why. It scares me. It haunts me. I shouldn’t have but I did it. Worst of all, I did it on Saturday night!!!
How can I, after committing such a sin on Saturday night, come and feel good about myself and worship God, like they do, on Sunday morning?
Honestly, right now, I just don’t feel like a Christian…
Many of us feel or have felt this way at times, even after praying for forgiveness like a million times and over, so hard your heart ached… That was me... I felt really horrible in service and doubted if God had truly forgiven or even loved me anymore… wondering if, just maybe, He’d gotten tired of me.
But then I heard it loud and clear as I sat in my seat:
“Your distance or time away from sin doesn’t make you any more righteous  than the other person”.
God never gave His salvation or righteousness to us in me…

In 2017

Image
When I stepped into the year 2017, I felt a burst of energy and life. The year 2016 ended on quite a sad note for me but I could definitely feel the newness and greatness of this year on the Crossover Night at exactly 12 midnight.
It was like breaking through a barrier…
Immediately, I perceived that this year held so much in store and I just couldn’t afford to let it slip away. So, I knew I had to be very careful and intentional about this year…  I began writing down my plans and asking God for direction.
I didn’t really get any ‘Word’ until I started reading the book of Genesis and at another time when my friend was telling me about the prophecies she heard for 2017 (of hardship, deaths but a special covering for God’s children) during the 2016 Crossover night and other events.
Two words I received from God for this year on a personal note: Firstly, this is a year of relief (Genesis 5:29). Secondly, this is a year of distinction between those who love God and serve Him and those who do …