Learning to Trust

“Relationships are supposed to be about trust…”  (Sheila in Why Did I Get Married Too, 2010)
Trust. Total trust. Complete trust…
I just decided to give it a try…
Not like this was a trust issue but I got insight (the light!) into something else.
I was asked to choose between two bottles of water. One was half full while the other was lesser, more like a quarter of the bottle. So, he asked me “Which one do you want?” and I replied “Anyone you give me.” He smiled and gave me the bottle that was half full...
Ordinarily, I would've chosen the lesser one (you know... be forming 'humble') and would've been left thinking probably ‘What if I had gone for the bigger one?’ or maybe not.
Instantly, a thought flashed through my mind.
So many times, we choose the lesser option because we think that’s what God would want us to have or as a sign of humility. But God actually wants us to have the best! Sometimes, we go for the lesser because we don’t trust God enough to think that He wants …

How Much Does Jesus Love You?

We are humans and we know that we are limited in our abilities so we make provisions for such. We can call it the ‘human factor’ or ‘human error’ or whatever we want to call it.
When it comes to the subject of love, we tend to also limit ourselves and also place people in our lives on different scales. One will hear questions such as ‘How much do you love me?’ or ‘If you love me then prove it!’ or ‘Do you even love me anymore?’ or ‘I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.’
I had this mentality too.
I could go the extra mile for only a very few set of people who I felt were worth it. I didn't believe that a girl like me could ever be truly and fully loved.
This isn't an easy thing to carry along with you into Christianity where you’re told and you read it in your Bible and you’re expected to believe in an all-loving God who will never leave you nor forsake you… in a God who will always show up and will always forgive no matter what… in an everyday kind of love.
In fact, He’s a God that for…

Burning Out

“When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst.” (Lam. 3:28-30)
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore…
Behind on my plans and losing peace and balance was becoming a reality for me though I knew I needed help fast!
I knew that I was going to break down anytime soon, as I had a lot on my plate at the moment, but not in public and, at least, not in church service on the same day I thought about it. I knew I needed a retreat to refill, review and re-strategize.  I was running almost empty…
Good news: I had the retreat and all went well. I’m much better now, all fired up!
After this phase, I got to find out that a lot of people are going through similar situations and are losing strength. Some people feel as though they’re going to break down or die anytime soon, some others feel inadequate while, surprisingly still, some othe…

Aging: Embracing Reality

“Pay close attention, friend, to what your father tells you; never forget what you learned at your mother’s feet.
Wear their counsel like flowers in your hair, like rings on your fingers.” (Proverbs 1:8-9)
This verse of Scripture kept coming to my head after reading it anytime I got into a conversation with my dad or mum during the holidays. It became a thing of reflection for me.
Growing up over the years, my parents always told us their stories and pieces of advice either from the mistakes they made, their share of experiences in life or the lessons they learned from their own parents. They always talk about their Civil War experiences and the Igbo culture; foods that have phased out, the games they played and Igbo proverbs…
Don’t get it twisted though. It wasn’t all roses and daisies. Some days were really annoying especially when my mum decided to be on my matter. But now I appreciate all the moments as I look back because it helped mould me into a stronger and better person.
Like f…

Starting 2018...

“I need to get my life in order for 2018. I need a retreat! I need a day off to sit down, think clearly and plan ahead…”*sighs*…
With the tide of activities and my mum calling me up and down to do this and to do that in preparation for the Christmas and New Year celebrations (food, food and food), my burden of school work, assignments, my final year project work and my church duties to perform… I must say I felt quite overwhelmed.
Truth be told, I lost track. Days ran into each other and I hadn’t gotten anything major done by the 29th (Dec. 2017). I was in dire need of a day-off for my retreat but it just wasn’t happening.
Then I got in touch with my Aunty Laraba! My lady in shining armor!
She advised me to end my day early and wake up really early (9:00 pm-2:00 am) and get started on my retreat from 2:00 am-5:00 am daily for the next three days.
I started off today (slept from 10:30 pm-3:30 am) from 3:30 am-5:30 am and it was A-M-A-ZING! (although the timing didn’t quite match…I still got…


So... like play like play, 2017 is coming to an end (someone said that October lasted for 0.05 seconds... lol).
All through the year, it’s been from one blessing to another, one problem to another, one day to another, and now we’re finally here counting down 3 days to 2018 and drawing up the resolutions which we hope to follow through the next year.
Truthfully, I never thought that Nigeria would still be peaceful by this time with all we went through this year. From the economic recession to the political dramas to the threats to the Ibos to evacuate the North and the whole clamour for Biafra to the present fuel palaver, we’re still as bustling as ever.
Personally, I thought this year was IT. I’d tell my friend that if I didn’t die this year, I wasn’t going to die again! From nervous breakdowns to times of ‘drought’ (literally), I pulled through safe and sound. I actually found myself even more relevant to the people around me because I knew how it felt to be broken too.
All in all, it’s…

Veggies and Candies

To leave seemed like the best option.
It wasn’t going to be an easy one but I had thought a lot about my dissatisfaction and what I thought was best for me.
I did pause to think about my friends, superiors and those who possibly looked up to me. I knew it was going to be a tough one but then, I mattered most or so I thought.
So, I decided to pray for God to orchestrate things the way I had thought it out, if He also agreed that it was the right thing for me. I felt real good about it too.
After a talk with a close senior friend about my choice, I began to reconsider my actions. Thing is, I decided to look within and I found out that I was actually the one with the problem. I had become stuck up and I just wanted to do my own thing, quite a rebel too.
Also, I got to see that God is even more interested in our growth than we are. If He wants you in or out of anywhere, He’ll make it happen because He works all things for our good. I am the apple of His eyes and He’s not about to care …