When Prayer Was All I Had




It was all I could do...
It wasn't as easy as it may seem to you but it was all I had and all I could do at the moment.
Just staring at my parents praying for my brother to be healed... all I could do was pray.

Things haven't been so wonderful for me and my family for a while now but we live through each day with faith and hope for better days ahead. The economy isn't so favourable, school (University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus) is on strike and that has the dangerous implication of having final year law students, including my brother, forfeiting their chance at law school this year... Sometimes it all makes me feel so lost, useless, weak and alone.

In the heat of all the family issues, I just went to church on Sunday expecting to drop dead. I couldn't hold back the tears when the pastor preached and said 'Don't panic, only believe'. I took that word and went to God in prayer the  next morning during my quiet time... Oh boy! I can bet you it wasn't easy.

Right there on the chair with my Bible in front of me, I decided to pray. After a while, I felt like I was just speaking to myself almost giving up on my faith. But then I tried it again, read some more of my Bible, got inspired by 1 Peter 1:3-9 and tried it again... I cant really explain it but it was real and it was good!

There was a wave of energy, of peace and joy. I felt like God was just there patting me on my back and telling me that it was alright. I began to cry and sing and dance. I've never cried like that before because I felt so broken and relieved from a terrible heart ache.

It may not seem as much but I'm beginning to see God's hands working things out and connecting those little distant dots. It's not complete but it's all beginning to make some sense. I guess that's why they said in the Bible that even though people will say there is a casting down, I'll speak of a lifting up.

I hope I'm reaching out to someone who's going through pain and difficulty. Please, even if its the only thing you do, pray; take it all to God in prayer and pour your heart out in all sincerity. He'll hear you and He'll comfort you... I promise you...

It may not make sense at the start but you'll get a hang of it... especially when you realize that prayer is all you have and all you need.


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